The big gold star represents the 49th star
placed on the American flag,
taken from the Big Dipper
on the Alaska flag. 

“Wild Salmon on Parade” has returned to spawn for yet another year with 21 fish decorated by Alaskan artists chosen by jury. This year the theme was Alaska Statehood – 50 years.

The public was invited to see all the fish in one location during a reception at Conoco Phillips on Sunday, June 8, before they are distributed to locations around Anchorage for the summer. They will be auctioned off on Sept. 6 for various charities.

Dot Bardarson’s king salmon will be displayed at Holland America – Gray Line at 4th Avenue and H St.

Free Nova Scotia!  Free Nova Scotia!  Oh, wait.  Hold on.  I got caught up in the moment there.  You see, this week’s Weird Book is dedicated to Nova Scotians in exile.  And it’s all about Blueberries.  If you’re confused raise your hand.  (Don’t worry.  Mine’s up too.)   

At first The Blueberry Connection seemed like any other fanatical berry book.  Some recipes, fun facts, and folklore.  Charming, innocent and just about cute fruit right?  We couldn’t be more wrong.  But we’re going to get to the sweet, sticky, blue heart of this problem even if I have to knock off a few Smurfs to find what I’m looking for.

I was first alerted to danger when one of our Security Geckos squeaked out an alarm.  (If you haven’t seen them, then they’re doing their job.  No more questions.)  I had just pulled the book from the shelf for closer inspection and opened the cover.  That’s when I noticed the dedication.  Hmm…exile indeed.  The story grew sweeter when I learned that in 1978, the Nova Scotia blueberry market was $6 million.  Interesting.  But things really started to heat up when I learned the secret name for a blueberry patch over there in Canada Land:  A vision for thieves.  Now I’m not much of a baker, but I’d say we’re about to have ourselves a dozen blue-collar crime muffins here.  And if I have my way, they’ll be served with a side of Justice Jam. 

Okay, so I’ve been watching a lot of Matlock lately.  C’mon, who doesn’t like Andy Griffith?  But that still doesn’t make this an innocent book.  Have you ever heard of a Whortleberry?  How about a Bilberry?  If they sound evil, then perhaps it’s because they’re involved in a Trans-Atlantic Black Market Berry ring.  I never thought I’d see the day. 

So if you’ve got a sweet tooth and the stomach for hard crime, I invite you to come on down to the Library to check out The Blueberry Connection.  If you’re going to take over the world one berry patch at a time, you might as well whip up a mean batch of Cream Puffs along the way.  Oh, and I’ve got my eyes on you Nova Scotia.

The sun creeps slowly over the northeastern range with its warming glow not far behind.  Tiehacker’s peak melts for a moment, set fire by the coming dawn; an auburn crown of misty vapors snug against its bosom. The earth spins, the fire rises. Light slashes through the clouds, across the bay and past the church until it finds my eyelids fixed in slumber through my window.  Here the fire finds me.  My world, though in dreams, glows red through the eyelashed curtain, demanding my attention; asking for action.  With a grunt I turn, pulling the covers over my eyes as I try to hide the fact that morning has come, and with it the death of sleep. It is only when my cave of covers threatens to sizzle the sauna out of me that I give up the fight and accept the sun, rise, and greet the day.

So I’m not a morning person. Even the 10 a.m. winter Alaska mornings I find troubling at times, and breakfast always seems to taste best after noon.  But you know what?  I’m not alone.  It’s a said fact that even the “Sun King”, ol’ Louis XIV of France had trouble getting out of bed in the morning. So much in fact, that after a while he saw no reason why he couldn’t rule the Kingdom without ever leaving his covers.  The man owned over 400 beds and would entertain friends or hold court, all while snug as a bug in a rug.  I bet he had some fancy PJs. And then there’s Vincent van Gogh, albeit a tad crazy, but that guy sure knew how to sleep in style. On a pillow of hops! 

Sleep is perhaps our most precious treasure.  An avenue into the world of dreams.  A blessed respite from a busy day.  Not something to be taken lightly if history has its say.

  Enter “The Complete Book of Sleep.” Author Dianne Hales reminds us that we are able to go without food, water and companionship more easily than without sleep. If you’ve ever been kept awake by the friendly fellows down at the CIA for several days with an espresso-fed Cocker Spaniel and a car battery that just never quits, you’ll know what I mean. And so it pays to take a moment of reflection before jumping into the wild abyss each evening.

Someone stayed up a lot of nights to write this book.  A little ironic, don’t you think?  My favorite chapter is All the Sleepy People: Where Do They All Come From? But, I’m off to take a nap. We’ll let Eleanor Rigby take it from here.

Ryan Reynolds can be found at the Library smelling old books and sometimes wearing argyle socks.  He can be reached at (907) 224-4082 or rreynolds@cityofseward.net

There’s a buzzing in my ears, a light in my eyes.  My forehead is beginning to tingle with a strange sensation as I watch, with head pressed against glass, as my dinner dances slowly, circling around the immaculate white cube, rising and falling as jets of steam issue forth with a symphonic simplicity that warms my heart.  My stomach becomes impatient, reminding me of my purpose as the heady aroma of “Cauliflower Surprise” wafts through the vent.  I step back to watch the clock tick, four…three…two…one…

     I am microwaving my dinner.

     Now before you scoff at my culinary antics, let me remind you that this is no Hungry Man we’re nukin’ here. Think you could resist “Scallops and Mushrooms in Wine Sauce” or “Crown Roast of Pork with Rice and Sausage Stuffing” ?  Quite the leap from a Velveeta Spam Delight now isn’t it?  (Where do you live?  I’m coming over for dinner.)

     But putting the Alabama “Honey, not those pajamas!” food aside, there are some recipes in the book I have for you today that would leave even Emeril speechless. But don’t take my word for it.  We’re talking the straight gospel from Margie “The Microwhiz” Kreschollek here.  Couple that with a certified “goof-proof” game plan and I’d say life’s a jar of peach micro-jam.(Honest! Page 237, check it out).

     Suddenly, love is in the air. 

     So if you’ve been wanting to invite that special someone over for dinner but your “Kiss the Chef” apron has been collecting dust for some time now, I think you know what to do. Three minutes at Power 7, stirring halfway through, wait for the magic bell, cool, garnish and serve. 

     And please, don’t forget the flowers.

Ryan Reynolds can be found at the Library, smelling old books and sometimes wearing argyle socks.  He can be reached at (907) 224-4082 or rreynolds@cityofseward.net.

“Where is the lavatory? How much does that cost? Why is that bearded fellow with the sickle following me?” If you take a trip to Russia, chances are you will ask all these questions and more during your stay in the Land of Laughter. What’s that you say? “Mother Russia…A sense of humor? Not so!” Oh, but it’s true.

Like a shiny new set of Babushka Eggs on Christmas morning, a light shines softly from the wintry darkness of our Eastern neighbor. Wouldn’t you know that nothing cultivates a sense of sparkling humor like years of fierce, totalitarian government oppression? After all, it worked for Walt Disney. Right?

Why, even Ivan the Terrible was known to crack a joke now and then. But please, don’t ask him about the cabbages. He just goes on and on, and then there’s something about Comrade Peter with his yak – but the two peasant women – and then Grechka! See, now I’ve vexed myself. But no matter. There is a wealth of humor still ahead. If you’re still skeptical perhaps I can convince you with a few classic jokes from the Motherland.

Take, for example, this timeless classic from that non-stop, post-communist comedy machine, Romania – “What is colder in a Romanian winter than cold water? Hot water!”

Ooookay…I think I missed something. Can we try that again? Nice and slow this time. “What is colder in a Romanian winter than cold water?”…wait…for…it….”Hot water!” No. Still not funny and now my head hurts.

Perhaps we should try another? This time from that bastion of comedic freedom, Hungary. “Why is the price of lard not going up in Hungary? So that the workers can have lard on bread for their Sunday lunch.” Alright, I give up. Obviously there’s a rift in

translation here. There must be. “If only there was a book that could save us!” cry our Capitalist funny bones. Fear not Comrades.

I present to you, this week’s book – Russian in 10 Minutes a Day. In no time at all, we shall be conversing freely, telling jokes with such mastery that even old Ivan himself would blush. For surely, any language with 15 words for “pickle” is worth knowing in my book. Until next time, ??? ????????!

Don’t delay! Start today! Careful though. In some parts of Russia, this is used as a highly effective pick-up line.

Let’s face it.  If people were meant to fly we all would have been born with wings, or propellers, or at the very least perhaps we’d disappear underground for a while to hibernate in a larval state, only to burst forth one fine morning in all of our grubby glory to spread our scaly wings and fly to Miami.  But sadly, we’re up to strike three.  Mother Nature can throw a mean curveball. This is where Falconry comes in.  If you can’t have wings yourself, why not enslave a fellow creature that does for your own personal advantage?  And, even better, you can make your new friend wear a funny hat, fashion yourself a giant glove from half a cow, and then find a sunny meadow where the two of you can wreak death and destruction on ferocious animals like bunnies and squirrels and kittens.  Yes! Take that lesser beasts!

One evil little kitten down.  Two baby chipmunks to go.

So you see, there’s no reason to be bitter about being confined to this cruel quasi two-dimensional world we humans call home when you could go out and get yourself a raptor.  If you can wrangle up one of the Jurassic Park variety then by all means do so;  though you might want to wear two gloves for that one.  The modern feathered raptor however, besides being intelligent and a fair hand at trivial pursuit in a pinch, is the friendly death machine you’re looking for.  Something to think about at least, instead of staying up nights gluing feathers to your arms and jumping off the bed wearing tissue boxes on your feet.  So come on down to the Library.  A higher world awaits you!  As well as hunky English lads in fetching sweaters apparently.  

“I make a mean crumpet young lady.”

This spring I was privileged to take an incredible course in “Community Awareness.” It was an unannounced course brought about by a large painting. The painting, “Remembering Exit Glacier” created by Dot Bardarson and collaborated on by many others will soon be unveiled on the side of the Avtec building.
This painting inspired another collaboration between the National Park Service, sixteen Seward school classrooms and 12 Seward artists. For the last 3 weeks artists made appearances in Seward classrooms sharing their work and helping students interpret this year’s National Park Art Contest theme “remembering Exit Glacier .” Our local community of artists volunteered to help with this project even though they had many other volunteer commitments with playground paintings, murals, and the NOSB all happening simultaneously.
Seward students were introduced to seven different media from silk painting to ceramics. They were taught by an inspired and inspiring group of artists: Kerry Cline, Sharon Irvin, Jean Schwafel, Dot Bardarson, Joanie Merritt, Jennifer Carr, Jeannie Shirk, Katy Toth-Stauble, Jenne Danzl, Marcie Treadwell and Gail Richards. The students learned a lot about art and created great artwork.
I was lucky enough to attend most of the classes and I can’t wait to put brush to paper and get busy with what I learned about art. But what I learned about community is a lesson that deserves a very special frame. I knew this town had a pretty outstanding collection of artists and my initial intent was to help the students of Seward see this on a level that affected them, and helped them to understand they too were artists. What I learned was that it’s not just their art that makes our artists special. It’s their HEART.
Thanks so much for your help Seward Artists!
CJ Rea
Park Ranger
Kenai Fjords National Park

It has come to my attention that a certain few have been snickering behind my back since I don’t read the Weird Books of the Week myself.  A farce on you.  I throw out a challenge!  A book race of sorts, complete with knives.  Ah! So you see, I checked out the Knife Throwing book a few days ago so you can’t read it.  It’s hiding in the Library somewhere to insure you don’t learn the ways of extreme justice.  Just in case it comes to that.  How dare you suggest I spend my nights enriching my mind in restful seculsion! 

The above, is what is commonly referred to as an anger problem.  I used to have one.  Then I found Don’t Shoot the Dog! and life had a few more rainbows after that.  You too can find your center.  Wearing cardigans helps as well.  And comfortable shoes, but really you need to read this book.  Along the way the author also sticks in some sweet dog training tips so how could you go wrong?  Can you think of anything better than dog training with John Denver on a Saturday night?  The answer is no.  Though I suppose adding some artichoke dip would really hit the spot.

So, if you can find the time to stop yelling at that giant RV that’s going 11mph and put down the scissors, we should talk.  There’s a pound puppy just waiting to meet you.

p.s. You can use this book to train anything with a brain.  If anyone is interested in starting an Underground Rabbit Circus, bring three carrots, a cowbell, and a Power Rangers action figure to the corner of 3rd and Jefferson at midnight tonight.  I have a plan…

L E G A C Y Imagine a powerful tool local residents will create and use to strengthen our community today and forever. Imagine an endowment available to support our emerging needs as a growing community in Southcentral Alaska. With your participation, these visions will become reality. (more…)

Do you remember the time you were at a party; the music was right on, the food fantastic, the company lovely.  Everything was going splendidly.  And then, someone pulls out an ancient Egyptian comic book and everyone starts reading along and laughing.  Everyone…except you.

It’s okay.  Not all of us can read hieroglyphs.  Well, okay so maybe there’s just that one guy you knew from High School.  You know – “The Scarab”.  He could.  And didn’t you always envy his cool Egyptian dance moves and sweet arm bracelets?  Nobody could rock out to The Bangles like he could.  But I digress.

Hieroglyphs.  If you’re like me, thinking up hypothetical embarassing situations and the ways you can avoid them can take up a lot of your free time.  But hey, that’s what the library’s here for.  Making people awesome one book at a time.  Speaking of books, it’s about time it made it’s appearance.

This week’s unusual book is Hieroglyphs Without Mystery: An Introduction to Ancient Egyptian Writing

Stop by the Library and check out Hieroglyphs Without Mystery. 

Who knows?  Maybe next time, you’ll be the life of the party. 

   (Sounds of hilarious laughter) Ah gee…you gotta love rock jokes.

We are pleased to announce that the Seward Community Library has been selected to receive a We the People “Created Equal” Bookshelf Award from the National Endowment for the Humanities. 

The bookshelf, a collection of 17 classic books on the theme of “Created Equal”, was awarded to 3,000 libraries across the country for 2008.  In addition to the focus on equality, a resource kit on Abraham Lincoln is included to help stimulate discussion as we approach Lincoln’s Bicentennial in 2009. 

With this wonderful addition to the Library collection, we hope to strengthen the teaching, study, and understanding of American history and culture.

The Library will also be sponsoring a “We the People” float in the Fourth of July Parade this year.  If anyone is interested in taking part, creating costumes, or throwing confetti, please stop by. 

We are pleased to announce that the Seward Community Library has been selected to receive a We the People “Created Equal” Bookshelf Award from the National Endowment for the Humanities. 

The bookshelf, a collection of 17 classic books on the theme of “Created Equal”, was awarded to 3,000 libraries across the country for 2008.  In addition to the focus on equality, a resource kit on Abraham Lincoln is included to help stimulate discussion as we approach Lincoln’s Bicentennial in 2009. 

With this wonderful addition to the Library collection, we hope to strengthen the teaching, study, and understanding of American history and culture.

The Library will also be sponsoring a “We the People” float in the Fourth of July Parade this year.  If anyone is interested in taking part, creating costumes, or throwing confetti, please stop by. 

For those of us hit hard by taxes and winter’s high utility bills, I have good news: 

Your troubles are over!

The Worm Has Turned to Peat Moss:  A Contemporary Guide to Successful Worm Farming is here to drive away those winter blues. 

From the authors…”We hoped to find something we could do at home, that required minimum labor, and provided a good income.  The impossible dream?  Well, maybe not.” 

Maybe not indeed.  Inside this rare treasure you’ll find the answers to such pressing questions as “Where do I sell my worms?” and “Why peat moss?”, all while learning the tools of the trade, which evil earthworm enemies to keep an eye out for, and “a little about earthworm babies“.  Nobody wants to know too much.

 Sweet Chops not required, but they do help with sales.

Seize the moment, become a Master Vermiculturist and begin your personal path to riches today!

Knife Fighting.

Some of us have done it. The rest of us stay awake at night thinking about it.

This week’s unusual book can help that latter group sleep a little easier this summer as we showcase Knife Throwing: A Practical Guide. I’m guessing this one is better than it’s foolhardy cousin Steely Eyed Dan’s Impractical Guide to Fightin’ with Pointy Things. But hey, I’m not here to judge.

Would you Fight this Guy?

Uh oh, he’s got a kni...(insert stabbing sound here)

The situation above could happen to anyone of us, anytime. Be prepared. Read Knife Throwing: A Practical Guide, keep your wits keen, and your blades whet. Who knows, maybe one day you’ll be able to challenge Prince Che Che. Who is this mystery man of royalty? Only the fastest knife thrower in the West, if not the World.

Soon you will be ready.

 Prince Che Che. A pretty sharp guy.

For this week’s unusual book we’re going to delve into the intricate complexities of “the great yogurt controversy” with All About Yogurt. Just when you thought breakfast couldn’t be more fun, along comes a book to add a bit more culture in your life.

“Before the 1960′s, virtually no one in America ate yogurt. Now, with some nutritionists hailing it as the “near-perfect food”, yogurt is fast becoming a national favorite…In addition, there are yogurt recipes you can whip together in just minutes, including such summer favorites as frozen fruit yogurt and cool creamy vegetable soup…The authors also stir up an emotional issue when they give you both sides of the Great Yogurt Culture Controversy – do you want the cultures in your yogurt active or non-active.” -Helferich and Westhoff

Join the great debate! Funny there’s no mention of that other Great Yogurt Controversy – To Stir or Not to Stir your fruit on the bottom. Perhaps some mysteries are best left unsolved.

To kick off National Library Week (April 13-19), Seward Community Library will present a special program for children from 16  months  up to 2 years, 11 months in age.   Color My World is the theme of the Lapsit which will be held Saturday, April 12 at 10:30 pm in the Kid’s Corner of the Library.    For more information, call the library at 224-4010.

Seward High Drama Productions is once again proud to present, “You Can’t Take It With You.” At first the Sycamores seem mad, but it is not long before we realize that if they are mad, the rest of the world it really nuts.

Shows begin nightly at 7:00 PM in the high school theater. Show dates are:

Saturday, April 12
Sunday, April 13
Monday, April 14
Tuesday, April 15

Children under 12 must be accompanied by adults.

It’s time for another unusual gem of a book from the Seward Community Library. This time we’re thinking small and showcasing Ants at Work: How an Insect Society is Organized by Deborah Gordon.

A scientific tour de force, Deborah Gordon’s Ants at Work takes us to the amazing world of an ant society and reveals a new and original understanding of how these tiny animals get the work of the colony done. -Gordon

Perhaps it’s just the longing for some good picnic weather that brings this book off the shelves this week, but it does seem an interesting read. Anyone who can sit in the desert for seventeen years watching ants must have something interesting to say.

Call for Design

Site selection for the Seward Mariners’ Memorial has been accomplished and progressing to the design phase of the project. The committee is soliciting drawings, ideas, or draft models for our memorial that will honor not only those who have died or been lost at sea, but also influential members of the maritime community. Memorial plaques honoring these individuals, living or deceased, will be incorporated within the design.

1. Location: Southeast corner of new fill area south of the small boat harbor, approximately 100×100 feet in size. The design must allow room for expansion as the number of memorial plaques increase through the years.

2. Create a meditative atmosphere surrounding the monument with the inclusion of benches, windbreak, partial rain cover, etc. The site will be suitable for the annual Blessing of the Fleet as well as other small functions.

3. The monument must be constructed of durable, non-defaceable material able to withstand the battering of Seward’s maritime climate and protection against potential vandalism.

4. Timeline for design: Between now and May 1. The committee’s goal is to select a design (or a combination of designs) and have a small model or large-scale drawing created in time for the annual Harbor Opening in May of this year. We are also looking for someone to create a scale model of the selected design to be displayed at various locations around Seward for purposes of fundraising.

5. Submit designs to: Seward Mariners’ Memorial Committee

c/o Nancy Erickson

P.O. Box 1956

Seward, AK 99664

E-mail: nancye@ak.net

For more information, contact Nancy Erickson at 491-1639 or 224-5953.